PART 14 – The Red Drawing Stayed on Our Refrigerator While I Learned That Protecting My Son Sometimes Meant Disappointing Everyone Else

A few weeks passed.

The school year continued.

Eli had a project that involved drawing his family.

He brought it home one afternoon.

There were several figures on the paper.

He had drawn me.

He had drawn himself.

He had included Grandma and Grandpa.

And Lucy.

I noticed Danielle wasn't there.

I didn't ask why.

I simply looked at the picture.

He pointed to each person.

"This is you."

I smiled.

"And that's Grandma?"

He nodded.

Then he pointed to Lucy.

"She's holding the red game piece."

I looked more closely.

He had drawn a little red square beside her hand.

I smiled again.

"That's a nice detail."

He seemed pleased.

I placed the drawing beside the others on the refrigerator.

That evening, I received a message from Mom.

She said she wanted to bring some food over the following Sunday.

I agreed.

She arrived around lunchtime.

She brought a container of soup and a small bag of groceries.

I thanked her.

She hugged Eli.

He showed her the school drawing.

Mom studied it carefully.

She smiled when she saw herself.

Then she noticed Lucy.

"She misses you," Mom told him.

Eli looked up.

"I miss her too."

Mom nodded.

I watched her face.

She seemed uncomfortable.

After Eli went to his room, Mom sat at the kitchen table.

She told me Danielle had been asking about him.

I waited.

Mom said my sister thought I was keeping the children apart because I was still angry.

I folded the paper towel beside my cup.

"Of course I'm angry."

Mom looked at me.

I told her I wasn't pretending otherwise.

But my anger wasn't the reason I had left Thanksgiving.

I had left because my son was being humiliated.

I had stayed away because nobody had shown me that anything would be different.

Mom rubbed her hands together.

She said Danielle had always been difficult.

I shook my head.

"That's not an excuse."

"I know."

"Then stop using it."

Mom looked toward the refrigerator.

She studied the drawings for a moment.

Then she asked whether I thought things could ever return to normal.

I considered the question.

I didn't want the old normal.

The old normal meant Danielle making remarks and everyone else pretending not to hear.

The old normal meant Eli watching my face before answering his aunt.

The old normal meant me taking him into the kitchen or out to the car whenever things became uncomfortable.

I didn't want that back.

"I want things to be better," I said.

Mom nodded.

She didn't promise anything.

I appreciated that more than another promise she couldn't keep.

After she left, Eli asked whether Grandma had enjoyed his drawing.

I told him she had.

He smiled.

Then he returned to his room.

I stood in the kitchen.

The refrigerator door had become crowded with his pictures.

I moved one magnet slightly so the newest drawing wouldn't fall.

The red square remained visible.

I wondered how long it would take before he stopped needing to draw Lucy into every picture.

I hoped he never had to stop.

Click here to continue reading: PART 15: My Father Finally Came to Our Apartment, but the Conversation Was Not the One I Had Been Waiting For