PART 17 – The Truth Russell Had Carried for Two Years Finally Came Between Us, and I Was Not Prepared for His Explanation

Russell sat across from me.

The folded paper rested on the table.

Neither of us touched it.

I could hear the quiet hum of the refrigerator.

The house was still.

Maisie was asleep in her bedroom, with Bunny beside her.

I looked at Russell.

"You said you would tell me everything."

He nodded.

"I know."

"Then I'm listening."

He took a deep breath.

For a moment, he looked at the paper.

Then he looked at me.

"I know you may never understand why I handled things the way I did."

I folded my hands.

"Understanding isn't the same as forgiving, Russell."

He lowered his eyes.

"I know."

I waited.

I wasn't going to fill the silence for him anymore.

He had spent two years avoiding this conversation.

He could take the time he needed to finally have it.

He unfolded the paper.

His fingers moved carefully along the creases.

Then he pushed it toward me.

I looked down.

"Tell me what I'm supposed to see."

He swallowed.

"I'll explain."

I looked at the writing.

I tried to understand why he had kept this particular paper.

But I couldn't know what it meant without hearing the rest.

Russell began speaking again.

He talked about the day he had decided to leave.

He remembered the kitchen.

He remembered Maisie.

He remembered telling me that he needed time.

I listened without interrupting.

Then he stopped.

I looked at him.

"Is that everything?"

"No."

"Then continue."

He nodded.

I could see how difficult the conversation was for him.

But difficult conversations were part of being married.

He had once understood that.

I needed him to understand it again.

"I don't want to keep hiding from what happened," he said.

I looked at the folded paper.

"Then don't."

He lowered his head.

And for the first time since he had returned, I stopped wondering whether he would speak.

I began waiting for what he would actually say.

Click here to continue reading: PART 18: I Had Waited Two Years for an Explanation, and I Finally Understood That an Apology Could Never Replace the Missing Time