PART 18 – I Stopped Waiting for Jordan to Make the Problem Disappear and Began Taking Responsibility for the Things I Could Control

The next morning, I opened the desk drawer and removed the folder.

I spread the credit report across the table.

The three accounts were still there.

So was the unfamiliar mailing address.

Nothing had changed overnight.

I read through the information again, making sure I had kept the pages together.

Then I put them in a separate envelope.

I didn't want the report mixed with the papers from the property sale.

One set of documents belonged to a business transaction I had completed.

The other concerned debts I had never agreed to take on.

They needed to be treated separately.

Pam came downstairs while I was finishing.

She looked at the envelope.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I need to make sure my information is protected."

She nodded.

I told her I wasn't going to wait indefinitely for Jordan to bring us his records.

If he provided them, I would review them.

But I wasn't going to leave my own affairs unresolved while waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do.

Pam looked worried.

"Will this make things worse with him?"

"I don't know."

She rubbed her hands together.

"I don't want another fight."

"Neither do I."

I placed the envelope in my briefcase.

"But avoiding the problem hasn't made it better."

She didn't argue.

I left the house and drove into Abilene.

I had spent much of my life handling business matters by keeping careful records and asking direct questions.

I intended to do the same now.

I wanted to understand the accounts and make sure that no further activity could be attributed to me without my knowledge.

I also wanted a clear record of what I had discovered and when.

I wasn't going to assume that family promises were enough to protect me.

That afternoon, I returned home with the envelope still in my briefcase.

Pam asked how things had gone.

I told her I had begun addressing the matter.

I didn't make promises about how quickly everything would be settled.

I didn't have enough information to do that.

She seemed relieved that I had taken a step forward.

For the rest of the afternoon, we went about our ordinary tasks.

Pam folded laundry.

I carried a few things into the garage.

The grocery sack from that first Thursday was long gone, but I could still remember the way I had put it back in the truck.

I had left the driveway because I didn't know what else to do.

Now I understood that leaving had only been the first step.

I couldn't spend the rest of my life sitting in the office, staring at a credit report and wondering what my family had done.

I needed to act.

That evening, Pam asked whether I thought Jordan would ever understand how much damage he had caused.

I considered the question.

"I hope he does."

She looked at me.

"Do you think he will?"

"I can't answer that for him."

She nodded.

It was a difficult answer, but it was honest.

I could explain the facts to Jordan.

I could tell him how his actions had affected us.

I could ask him to take responsibility.

I couldn't force him to feel remorse.

That had to come from him.

Later, I sat in the living room with the television turned off.

I thought about the money from the sale.

Nineteen point eight million dollars was a number I still found difficult to connect to my daily life.

I had spent decades worrying about repairs, rental income, and keeping the properties occupied.

Now I had sold them.

The money was in my account.

I could finally stop working every day.

But I wasn't going to let the money become a reason to ignore what had happened.

If anything, the sale made it more important that I decide carefully.

I had the means to help Pam recover financially.

I also had the means to make it easy for Jordan to avoid the consequences of his actions.

Those were not the same thing.

I wanted to protect my wife.

I did not want to protect a lie.

The following morning, I placed the envelope back in the desk drawer.

I had taken the first steps I needed to take.

I would continue dealing with the accounts.

I would keep the records.

And I would wait for Jordan to provide the information we had requested.

But I would no longer confuse waiting with doing nothing.

Click here to continue reading: PART 19: Pam Wanted Her Son to Come Home as the Man She Remembered, but I Needed to Know Whether He Could Face What He Had Done