I read the first sentence twice.
Todd had written that he wanted to explain how the $800 figure had been calculated.
Below it were several numbers.
Rent.
Utilities.
Groceries.
Childcare.
I looked at the page again.
There were small notes in the margins.
Some had been crossed out.
Others had been underlined.
"What's all this?" I asked.
Todd folded his hands.
"It's how I came up with the arrangement."
I looked at Michelle.
She was staring at the table.
"Did you know he was writing this?"
She shook her head.
"Not until today."
I returned my attention to the legal pad.
Todd had divided the page into sections.
The first section listed the costs of running their household.
The second listed the money he expected me to contribute.
The third was about childcare.
I stopped there.
"You put a price on watching your own grandchildren?"
Todd swallowed.
"I put a value on the time."
I didn't answer.
He looked uncomfortable.
"I thought it would make the arrangement fair."
I placed my finger beside the number.
"Fair to whom?"
He looked down.
Nobody spoke for several seconds.
I turned the page.
There was another list.
This one included the hours Michelle and Todd worked.
It also included the children's schedules.
Sadie's name appeared beside four weekdays.
I felt something tighten in my chest.
"Why did you write all this?"
Todd rubbed his forehead.
"Because I thought we needed a plan."
"A plan for what?"
"For your move. For the household. For everything."
I looked at him.
"Did either of you ask what I wanted?"
Michelle finally lifted her head.
"Mom, I thought we were helping you."
I believed she had thought that.
At least, I wanted to believe it.
But helping somebody and deciding their life for them were two different things.
I turned another page.
There were figures for groceries.
A note about electricity.
Another about heating.
Then I noticed a sentence written near the bottom.
It had been underlined twice.
Judy's income should cover her share.
I read it quietly.
Then I looked at Todd.
"Did you write that?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
He shifted in his chair.
"Because I didn't want us to end up paying your expenses."
I stared at him.
I had never asked them to pay my expenses.
I had never asked them to buy my groceries.
I had never asked them to cover my bills.
All I had needed was a place to live after losing my husband and leaving the farmhouse.
Yet somehow, the conversation had become about what I would cost them.
"I have my own money," I said.
"I know."
"I've always paid my own way."
"I know that too."
"Then why did you assume I needed to be charged nearly half my income?"
Todd didn't answer immediately.
Michelle reached for the edge of the legal pad.
"Can I explain something?"
I nodded.
She took a breath.
"We've been under pressure lately."
I waited.
"Childcare has become expensive. Todd's hours changed, and my schedule hasn't been easy either."
She looked toward the kitchen window.
"We thought having you nearby would help."
I looked at her.
"Nearby?"
"Living with us."
"While I paid you $800?"
She closed her eyes.
"Mom, I know how it sounds."
I wanted to tell her that I had known how it sounded from the beginning.
But I let her continue.
"We weren't trying to hurt you."
I believed that too.
People could hurt somebody without waking up in the morning intending to do it.
That didn't make the hurt disappear.
Todd turned the page again.
"This is the part I wanted you to see."
I looked down.
There was a heading about the household arrangement.
Underneath it were several paragraphs.
He had written that he believed the basement room could provide me with a private space while keeping me close to the family.
Then he had listed the responsibilities he expected me to take on.
Laundry.
Meals when possible.
Childcare four days a week.
I looked up.
"Laundry?"
Todd nodded.
"Just some of it."
I leaned back.
"Michelle, did you know he expected me to do laundry?"
She shook her head.
"No."
Todd rubbed the back of his neck.
"I didn't mean every load."
I looked at him.
"How many things were you planning to add after I moved in?"
He opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
I turned another page.
The handwriting became messier.
Some figures had been written over.
A few lines were difficult to read.
But one sentence stood out.
We should settle expectations before Judy arrives.
I read it again.
Before Judy arrives.
Not before we discuss it.
Not before we ask Judy.
Before Judy arrives.
I put the legal pad down.
For a moment, I couldn't find the right words.
Then I looked at Michelle.
"Did you want me to live with you, or did you want somebody to help run your house?"
Her eyes filled.
"Both, I suppose."
That answer hurt more than I expected.
Because it was honest.
And because I had suspected it all along.
I looked toward Dale's photograph.
He was smiling in the picture.
His shirt collar was slightly crooked.
I remembered him standing in the kitchen, telling Michelle she could always come home if she needed help.
He had never made her earn that kindness.
I wondered when we had started measuring family in monthly payments and weekly duties.
Todd cleared his throat.
"I know this looks bad."
I turned toward him.
"It doesn't just look bad, Todd."
He nodded.
"I know."
I picked up the legal pad again.
There were more pages.
And he seemed determined that I read every one.
Click here to continue reading: PART 6: Michelle Finally Explained Why She Had Been Crying, but Her Reason Didn’t Make the Basement Offer Any Easier to Understand
My Daughter Had a Price for Giving Her Widowed Mother a Place to Sleep, and I Had to Decide What My Years Were Worth
Part 5 of 20
