PART 8 – Lucy Still Wanted to See Her Cousin, and I Had to Find a Way to Protect One Child Without Punishing Another

The following week, Eli came home from school carrying a drawing.

He placed it on the refrigerator with a magnet.

It showed two children standing beside a house.

One had dark hair.

The other had a yellow shirt.

I asked who they were.

"Me and Lucy."

I smiled.

He had drawn them playing together.

There was a small red square near their feet.

I recognized it as one of the game pieces Lucy always saved for him.

"That's nice."

He nodded.

"She said we should play again."

I looked at him.

"When did she say that?"

"She called yesterday."

I hadn't heard the phone.

He explained that Lucy had spoken to him while he was in his room.

I asked whether Danielle had been nearby.

He shrugged.

"I don't know."

I sat beside him.

"Did she say anything else?"

He shook his head.

He looked down at the drawing.

"I miss her."

I understood.

Lucy hadn't insulted him.

She hadn't been the one who made the decision to leave the dinner table.

She was a nine-year-old girl who loved her cousin.

I didn't want to make her responsible for her mother's behavior.

But I also couldn't pretend that contact between the children happened in a separate world.

Their mother was part of it.

The next afternoon, Mom called.

She said Lucy had been asking about Eli.

I listened.

Mom said Danielle was upset that I had stopped bringing him around.

I asked whether Danielle had apologized.

Mom said she didn't want to discuss that again.

I took a breath.

"Then we don't have anything new to discuss."

Mom sounded frustrated.

She said the children shouldn't have to suffer because the adults couldn't get along.

I looked at the drawing on the refrigerator.

"You're right. They shouldn't."

I told her I wasn't trying to punish Lucy.

I wanted the children to have a relationship.

But I wasn't going to place Eli in another room where his aunt could humiliate him.

Mom said she understood.

I asked whether Danielle understood.

Mom didn't answer.

After the call, I found Eli sitting on the living room floor.

He had taken out his game.

The red pieces were arranged in a small line.

He looked up.

"Can Lucy come here?"

I sat beside him.

"Maybe."

"Can I ask her?"

I thought about it.

Then I told him I would speak with Grandma first.

He nodded.

I didn't want him carrying messages between adults.

He had already carried enough.

That evening, I called Mom.

I said the children could spend time together if we arranged something that didn't put Eli in the middle of the family conflict.

Mom suggested a visit at her house.

I said I wasn't comfortable with that yet.

She suggested Christmas.

I said we would discuss it later.

Finally, she said Lucy could come to our apartment for an afternoon.

I agreed to consider it.

But I wanted to know whether Danielle would be involved.

Mom said she would ask.

I waited.

The next day, Mom called back.

Danielle didn't like the idea.

She said it was unfair that she couldn't be present when her daughter visited her cousin.

I understood that a mother would want to know where her child was.

But I also understood that Danielle wasn't willing to separate her relationship with me from the children's relationship.

I told Mom we would leave it for now.

She sounded disappointed.

I was disappointed too.

When I told Eli, he didn't argue.

He simply put the red pieces back in their box.

I watched him close the lid.

Then he asked whether he could keep the drawing on the refrigerator.

"Of course."

He moved the magnet slightly so it wouldn't cover Lucy's face.

I stood beside him.

I wanted to tell him that things would return to normal.

But normal was exactly what I no longer wanted.

I wanted something better.

Something where he could walk into a room without wondering whether he belonged there.

Something where he could sit beside his cousins without being reminded that his family looked different.

Something where the adults understood that a child was not responsible for the circumstances of his birth.

I didn't know when that would happen.

But I knew I couldn't keep asking him to wait for it at the same Thanksgiving table.

Click here to continue reading: PART 9: I Didn’t Want Lucy to Lose Her Cousin, but I Was Done Asking Eli to Accept Being Hurt