I woke before the others on Sunday morning.
For a few seconds, I forgot that the house had changed.
Then I heard a door open upstairs.
Someone walked across the floor.
A child's voice followed.
The sound was unfamiliar in the early morning, but not unpleasant.
I got dressed and went downstairs.
Dale was already awake.
He had started the coffee.
I stood beside him while the machine finished dripping.
Neither of us said much.
We both knew the house would be different now.
There would be more laundry.
More food to buy.
More conversations about who needed the bathroom and where somebody had left a pair of shoes.
There would also be three children who needed to know they weren't a burden.
I wanted to get that part right.
Brody appeared first.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked toward the kitchen.
"Is there cereal?"
I pointed him toward the cupboard.
He thanked me and got a bowl.
He tried to act as though he had been living there for months.
I didn't correct him.
Kenzie came down next.
She was quieter.
She looked around before choosing a chair.
Cole followed her, asking whether Pickles could stay in the kitchen.
I told him we'd find a place where the bowl wouldn't get knocked over.
He nodded seriously.
The fish was apparently the most important member of the family that morning.
Jeff came down last.
He looked as if he hadn't slept well.
I poured him coffee.
He accepted it without meeting my eyes.
For a while, we talked about ordinary things.
The weather.
The drive.
What the children needed for school.
I asked whether he had enough clothes for the coming week.
He said he did.
I suspected he was trying to avoid asking for anything else.
That was fine.
I wasn't going to make him list every need before he had finished his breakfast.
After the children had eaten, Hannah came downstairs.
She sat beside Kenzie.
The two girls began talking about something I couldn't hear.
Hannah had a way of making people feel included without announcing that she was doing it.
I was grateful for that.
I also knew she was sixteen.
She had her own life, her own schoolwork, and her own worries.
I didn't want her to feel that taking care of Jeff's children had become her responsibility simply because she was the oldest girl in the house.
So I let them talk.
I cleared the dishes.
Dale went outside to check something near the driveway.
Jeff remained at the table.
He looked toward the window.
"Mom called you yesterday, didn't she?"
"Yes."
"What did she say?"
"She wanted to know why I'd brought you here."
He pressed his lips together.
I waited for him to respond.
Instead, he asked whether she was coming for dinner.
"I invited her and Dad."
"Did she say she'd come?"
"No."
He nodded.
I could see that he was trying to understand what had happened without making it worse.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't responsible for our parents' reaction.
But I didn't know whether he would believe me.
He had spent years trying to be the son who didn't cause trouble.
Now his marriage had ended, and he needed a place to stay.
He probably felt as though he had disappointed everyone.
I didn't want him carrying my parents' disappointment on top of everything else.
"You don't have to fix this between me and them," I said.
He looked at me.
"I wasn't planning to."
Then he paused.
"At least, I don't think I was."
That was Jeff.
He could make a joke when he was uncomfortable, but the joke didn't always hide what he was feeling.
I smiled a little.
He looked relieved.
Later that morning, I went upstairs to check the bedrooms.
The windows had been opened to let in fresh air.
The rooms still needed work, but they were comfortable enough for now.
Kenzie had put her backpack beside the bed.
Brody had arranged his things along the wall.
Cole was checking on Pickles.
I watched him adjust the bowl carefully.
He took the job seriously.
I wondered what the children had been told about the move.
Had they been told it was temporary?
Had they been told their grandparents wanted the farmhouse back?
Had anyone explained why their father was bringing them to stay with their aunt?
I decided not to ask.
Children didn't need every adult disagreement explained to them.
They needed routines.
They needed food.
They needed a place to sleep without worrying that somebody might ask them to leave.
That afternoon, I started thinking about Sunday dinner.
I had invited my parents because I wanted them to see that helping Jeff did not require giving away the house.
I wanted them to understand that the upstairs rooms had been unused for years.
They could be useful now.
I also wanted to believe that once Mom saw the children settled, she would understand.
I wasn't sure why I still expected that.
Perhaps because she was my mother.
Perhaps because some part of me still believed that if I explained myself carefully enough, she would recognize what I was trying to do.
I had spent much of my life hoping for that recognition.
It was an uncomfortable thing to admit.
I could be angry with her and still want her approval.
I could know I was making a reasonable choice and still worry that she would call it selfish.
Those feelings didn't cancel each other out.
They simply existed together.
By late afternoon, the kitchen smelled like a proper Sunday meal.
The children had settled into the house a little more.
Hannah helped Kenzie with something upstairs.
Brody stayed near his father.
Cole checked his fish again.
Jeff washed his hands and asked whether there was anything he could do.
I gave him a small job.
He did it without complaint.
For a little while, the house felt almost ordinary.
Then I remembered the object he had brought downstairs the night before.
I hadn't forgotten it.
I had simply decided to wait until he was ready to talk.
I wondered whether he had put it back upstairs.
I wondered whether it was something our parents had left behind.
And I wondered why Jeff had looked at me as though he had found a piece of the past that belonged to both of us.
Click here to continue reading: PART 7: Sunday Dinner Was Supposed to Bring Everyone Together, but My Parents’ Empty Chairs Told Their Own Story
The Evening My Parents Came to Ask for Something They Had No Right to Assume I Would Give Them
Part 6 of 16
