We sat in silence for a little while.
My sister eventually asked whether I had really paid the entire credit card balance.
I told her I had.
She looked surprised.
I reminded her that I had made the payment when I closed the account.
She said she hadn't realized the balance was that high.
I almost laughed.
The statements had been available.
The charges had appeared every month.
I had mentioned them more than once.
But I didn't want to spend the afternoon arguing about what she should have noticed.
I told her the card had affected my finances.
It had also affected my peace.
She said she never intended to cause problems.
I believed that she might not have planned to hurt me.
But the result was still the same.
She had spent money that wasn't hers.
And I had been expected to cover it.
She asked whether I thought she was selfish.
I paused.
I didn't want to insult her.
I also didn't want to soften the truth until it meant nothing.
I told her I thought she had become used to someone else handling the consequences.
She looked away.
Then she said our father had always told her that I could afford it.
That sentence stayed with me.
I had heard versions of it before.
I could afford it.
I was responsible.
I had a good job.
I didn't have the same problems she did.
As if having more stability meant I had no limits.
I told her that my income belonged to my household.
My husband and son depended on me, too.
She nodded slowly.
Then she asked whether I hated her.
I shook my head.
"No. But I can't keep living like this."
She didn't ask me to pay her rent again.
Instead, she asked whether we could try to have a relationship without money being involved.
I told her that was what I wanted.
But I also told her trust would take time.
She accepted that.
We finished our coffee.
Before leaving, she said she would try to sort out her finances herself.
I wished her well.
I didn't offer to rescue her.
For the first time, we parted without an argument about a bank account.
Click here to continue reading: PART 19: My Mother Invited Me to Dinner Again, but This Time I Asked Whether My Father Was Ready to Take Responsibility
Fourteen Seconds Was All It Took for My Father to Tell Me Exactly Where I Stood in His Life
Part 18 of 20
