The first few weeks of pregnancy were exhausting.
I wasn't used to being pregnant again.
Even though I had carried Sophie before, everything felt different this time.
There were additional appointments.
More paperwork.
More people asking how I was feeling.
And a constant awareness that the baby I was carrying would eventually go home with someone else.
I tried to prepare myself emotionally.
The counselors had explained that surrogacy required clear boundaries.
I understood that.
But understanding something and living through it were two different experiences.
Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and place my hand over my stomach.
I would wonder whether the baby was comfortable.
Whether everything was developing normally.
Whether Graham was thinking about the child.
I never questioned whether I wanted the baby to be healthy.
That part came naturally.
Daniel seemed to understand.
He became unusually attentive.
Before the pregnancy, he often came home after Sophie was already asleep.
Now he tried to arrive earlier.
He started asking whether I needed anything from the grocery store.
He carried the heavy bags.
He cleaned the kitchen without being asked.
One Saturday, I found him replacing a broken shelf in the laundry room.
The washing machine stood beside him.
I laughed.
"You're doing home repairs now?"
He looked over his shoulder.
"Someone has to keep this house running."
I smiled.
It was such a small thing.
But I had missed those small things.
For months, I had felt like a single mother living with a husband who happened to share my address.
Now Daniel was there.
Actually there.
He sat with Sophie while she did her homework.
He helped her brush her hair before school.
He even started reading bedtime stories again.
One evening, I stood outside her bedroom and watched them.
Sophie was holding her favorite stuffed rabbit.
Daniel was making funny voices for the characters in her book.
She laughed so loudly that I had to cover my mouth.
I hadn't heard that sound from her in a long time.
When Daniel finally came downstairs, I was waiting in the kitchen.
"She loves having you home."
He looked at me.
"I know."
"She missed you."
He lowered his eyes.
"I missed her too."
I wanted to say that I had missed him even more.
But I didn't.
Instead, I made him a cup of coffee.
Things weren't perfect.
I still had moments when the surrogacy felt strange.
Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to give birth and leave the hospital without bringing the baby home.
Sometimes I worried about the physical recovery.
And sometimes I felt guilty for having those thoughts.
But Daniel was supportive.
At least, that's what I believed.
He began coming to my appointments.
He sat beside me in the waiting room and held my bag.
During one ultrasound, the technician turned the screen slightly.
"There's the heartbeat."
The sound filled the room.
Fast.
Steady.
Real.
Daniel reached for my hand.
I looked at him.
His eyes were wet.
For a moment, I forgot about the complicated arrangement.
I forgot about Graham.
I forgot about the paperwork.
I simply felt grateful that the baby was doing well.
After the appointment, Daniel bought me lunch.
He asked what I wanted.
I told him I wasn't particularly hungry.
He insisted on getting something anyway.
On the drive home, he kept one hand on the steering wheel and rested the other on my knee.
"You're doing an amazing thing."
I looked at him.
"I hope so."
He smiled.
"You really are."
I started believing that the arrangement might bring us closer.
Maybe that was foolish.
But when you've spent months feeling unwanted, even ordinary kindness can feel extraordinary.
By the time I reached the second trimester, my pregnancy was becoming more noticeable.
My clothes were tighter.
I needed more rest.
Sophie had started asking questions.
She knew I was carrying a baby for Graham.
We had explained it in simple terms.
She understood that the baby would eventually live with another family.
One afternoon, she placed her hand gently against my stomach.
"Can the baby hear me?"
"I think the baby can hear some sounds."
She leaned closer.
"Hello, baby. I'm Sophie."
I laughed.
Daniel watched us from the doorway.
His expression was soft.
"You're going to be a wonderful big sister," he told her.
Sophie grinned.
"Even if the baby doesn't live here?"
"Even then."
It was a sweet moment.
One I would remember for a very long time.
But as the weeks passed, I began noticing small things about Daniel.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing I could point to and say something was wrong.
He sometimes stepped outside to answer phone calls.
He kept his phone facedown on the kitchen counter.
When Graham called, Daniel often walked into another room.
I assumed they were discussing work.
After all, Graham was his boss.
And Daniel had always been protective of his professional life.
I didn't want to become suspicious over ordinary behavior.
I had already agreed to the arrangement.
I had no reason to believe there was anything more happening.
Then came the night Daniel made me feel like everything was finally going to be okay.
It was a Sunday evening.
Sophie had gone to bed.
We were sitting on the couch watching television.
I was tired, so I had my feet resting on a cushion.
Daniel sat beside me.
Click here to continue reading: PART 4: At Twenty-Four Weeks, I Went Downstairs for a Glass of Water and Heard My Husband Say Something I Could Never Unhear
My Husband Said His Boss Needed a Baby, But I Never Expected Him to Bring Up My Body During His Birthday Celebration
Part 3 of 20
