PART 19 – When Ryan Finally Tried to Explain Himself, I Realized That His Biggest Loss Was Something Money and Promises Could Never Replace

Ryan continued contacting me.

At first, I didn't respond.

Then I decided that avoiding every conversation wasn't going to make the situation disappear.

I needed him to understand that I had heard what he said at the terminal.

I also needed him to understand that I would not accept his explanation as an excuse.

When I finally answered, I kept my words simple.

"You hurt me, Ryan."

He replied almost immediately.

"I know."

I looked at the message.

I wondered whether he really understood.

I wrote again.

"You didn't just hurt me. You made me question everything you told me while you were away."

There was a pause.

Then he answered.

"I never stopped caring about you."

I read those words several times.

Perhaps he believed them.

But caring about somebody wasn't enough.

He had made choices that showed how little he had considered my feelings.

He had stood in front of me with another woman and expected me to accept his explanation.

I couldn't forget that.

I wrote one final message for that conversation.

"Our daughters deserve honesty. So do I."

Then I stopped replying.

I didn't want to spend every evening arguing through a phone.

I wanted to give myself time to think.

I also wanted to enjoy the little moments with the girls.

They were growing.

Their expressions were changing.

Their little movements were becoming familiar.

I didn't want the memory of their first months to become nothing but the memory of their father's betrayal.

I wanted something better for them.

I wanted a home where love wasn't something people used as an excuse.

And I wanted to remember that I was more than Ryan's wife.

I was a person.

I was a mother.

And I deserved to be treated with respect.

Click here to continue reading: PART 20: I Went to the Port Hoping to Bring My Husband Home, but I Left Understanding That My Daughters and I Deserved Better