PART 18 – The Expensive Watch No Longer Frightened Me Because I Had Finally Remembered What My Son Was Worth

I thought about Grant less as the days passed.

Not because everything was settled.

It wasn't.

But because I was trying to give my attention to the things I could control.

I couldn't decide what Grant would say.

I couldn't control how Carroway presented his arguments.

And I couldn't make the past two years disappear.

But I could decide what kind of home Nolan experienced every day.

One morning, I found him looking through his drawer.

He pulled out the navy-blue shirt.

"Can I wear this today?"

I smiled.

"Of course."

He held it up.

The little moon caught his attention.

"I still like this one best."

"I know you do."

He put it on.

I helped him straighten the fabric.

For a moment, I remembered the courtroom.

The photograph.

The accusations.

The way my stomach had tightened when Carroway held it up.

Then I looked at Nolan.

He was smiling.

That was what mattered.

I didn't want him to associate his favorite shirt with shame.

I wanted him to remember his birthday.

I wanted him to remember how happy he had been when he first saw it.

I wanted him to understand that the stains had never changed its value.

And neither had our financial circumstances changed his value.

That afternoon, I sat down with the bills.

I made a list of what needed attention.

It wasn't a perfect solution.

But it was a start.

I had spent too long feeling overwhelmed by everything at once.

Now I was trying to handle one thing at a time.

When Nolan came home, he told me about his day.

I listened.

He talked about ordinary things.

I was grateful for every one of them.

Later, I looked at the photograph in my memory.

I remembered how powerful it had seemed.

But it had never shown the whole story.

Neither had Grant's watch.

Neither had my worn clothes.

Appearances had almost convinced me that I was already defeated.

I wasn't.

Click here to continue reading: PART 19: Before the Final Decision, I Had to Face the Fear That Had Followed Me Since Grant First Began Taking Everything Away