PART 20 – The Promise I Made Beside the Water Was the One Thing I Could Not Take Back, Even When Everything Else Had Changed

I kept looking for Cassie.

I had no other way to describe what was happening.

I was a mother searching for her child.

The afternoon had begun with an ordinary family gathering.

Now I was in the lake, surrounded by water and uncertainty.

I remembered the moment I had walked inside for sunscreen.

I remembered returning and finding the dock empty.

I remembered the jet ski moving across the lake.

I remembered seeing the small figure fall.

I remembered Trey returning with the orange vest.

And I remembered the pink hair tie.

The little strawberry.

I couldn't forget any of it.

I had spent years teaching other people about water safety.

I had spent years telling Cassie what to do if she ever fell into deep water.

I had believed those lessons would help protect her.

I had also believed that my family would respect the rules I had established for my daughter.

That belief had failed me.

I couldn't change what Trey had done.

I couldn't change what my parents had said.

I couldn't return to the beginning of the afternoon and prevent myself from walking inside.

I could only keep searching.

I thought about the promise again.

Mommy will come.

I had said those words because I wanted Cassie to feel safe.

I wanted her to understand that she could trust me.

I wanted her to know that she would never have to face something frightening alone.

Now I was trying to reach her.

I didn't know what she was experiencing.

I didn't know what had happened after the moment I saw her fall.

I didn't know where she was.

But I wasn't willing to stop looking.

The people on shore had heard me.

The boats were moving.

My nephew had my phone.

I had made sure the emergency call included the facts my family wanted to avoid.

That was all I could do about the people behind me.

My attention returned to the water.

I searched again.

I called Cassie's name.

I remembered her pink swimsuit.

I remembered her little strawberry hair tie.

I remembered the orange vest that should have been keeping her afloat.

I wanted to see my daughter more than I had ever wanted anything.

I wanted to take her home.

I wanted to hear her complain about the life jacket.

I wanted to fasten it around her again and tell her why I had been so careful.

I wanted an ordinary afternoon back.

But I couldn't have that afternoon anymore.

I could only face the one I was living.

And so I continued searching.

The End

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