PART 15 – The Vest I Had Checked So Carefully Was Back on Shore, and I Couldn’t Stop Thinking About the Little Girl Who Should Have Been Wearing It

The orange life jacket was supposed to be simple.

It was supposed to make every trip to the lake safer.

I had never thought of it as something complicated.

Cassie wore it.

I checked it.

Then she could enjoy being near the water.

That was our routine.

My mother had called it excessive.

I had ignored her.

I was glad I had.

But now the vest had become something I couldn't stop thinking about.

Trey had brought it back to the dock.

He had held it while explaining that Cassie didn't want to wear it.

I wondered why he had allowed that.

I wondered why he hadn't insisted.

I wondered why he had believed a seven-year-old could decide whether the safety rule applied.

He had told me she could swim.

I knew she could swim.

I also knew her limits.

There was a reason I had taught her to look for something floating.

There was a reason I had made her wear the vest.

Swimming in a pool was not the same as surviving an unexpected fall into open water.

I kept thinking about the difference.

I kept thinking about how small Cassie was.

And I kept remembering that she had been wearing a pink swimsuit.

I searched the water again.

I wanted to see that color.

I wanted to see her head above the surface.

I wanted to hear her call my name.

But I couldn't find her.

The little strawberry on the hair tie remained in my thoughts.

It was such a childish decoration.

Cassie had liked it.

I had never imagined that something so ordinary would become connected to the worst moment of my life.

I forced myself to keep searching.

The orange vest had been important before.

It was still important.

But finding it on the dock had not answered the question that mattered.

I needed to find Cassie.

Click here to continue reading: PART 16: I Had Spent Years Preparing Other People for Emergencies, but Nothing Could Prepare a Mother for the Silence After Calling Her Child’s Name