PART 7 – The Orange Vest Had Come Back Without Her, and Every Memory of That Afternoon Made My Brother’s Excuses Harder to Bear

I couldn't get the image of Trey out of my mind.

He had returned to the dock carrying Cassie's life jacket.

He had laughed.

He had explained that she didn't want to wear it.

He had acted as though that settled everything.

I remembered the way he stood there.

Unsteady.

Casual.

As if he had brought back something that belonged to the family after an ordinary ride.

I remembered asking where Cassie was.

I remembered his answer.

He thought she could swim.

That was not an answer.

It didn't tell me where she had fallen.

It didn't tell me how long he had continued riding.

It didn't tell me whether he had looked for her after she went into the water.

And it certainly didn't tell me whether she was safe.

I had wanted him to understand the seriousness of what he had done.

Instead, my father had stepped between us.

He had tried to protect Trey.

Even after hearing that Cassie was missing.

Even after seeing the life jacket.

Even after hearing me say that my daughter was in the lake.

My father was worried about another drunk-driving arrest.

I remembered his words about prison.

I remembered my mother's complaint that I always ruined things.

Those sentences stayed with me.

Not because they were complicated.

Because they were so simple.

My child was missing.

Their attention was somewhere else.

I thought about the two previous arrests.

For years, my parents had treated them as problems that needed to be managed.

They had never seemed to consider that Trey's drinking could put someone else in danger.

Now I was watching the consequences of that attitude unfold.

I didn't know what would happen to him.

I wasn't thinking about that anymore.

I wasn't thinking about the family argument that would follow.

I wasn't thinking about whether my parents would ever forgive me for calling the police.

I wanted Cassie.

That was the only thing I could think about.

I kept searching the water.

I looked for her pink swimsuit.

I looked for the orange vest that she should have been wearing.

I remembered how carefully I had checked it before previous visits.

I remembered fastening it and making sure it fit.

I had never considered that someone in my own family would take it off her.

That thought made me angry.

But anger wasn't going to bring her back.

I forced myself to concentrate.

I kept looking.

Click here to continue reading: PART 8: I Had Promised My Daughter That I Would Come for Her, and That Promise Was the Only Thing I Could Hold On to