PART 5 – The Little Strawberry in the Water Was the First Thing I Recognized, and I Couldn’t Make Myself Look Away

I kept staring at the hair tie.

It was only a small pink thing with a plastic strawberry attached.

But I knew it belonged to Cassie.

I had seen it in her hair that morning.

I had watched her put it on.

Now it was floating in the middle of the lake.

I called her name again.

Nothing answered.

I moved farther through the water, looking around the place where I had found it.

I checked the surface.

I looked beyond the passing wake.

I searched every direction I could reach with my eyes.

There was no sign of her.

I wanted to believe she had somehow made it somewhere else.

I wanted to believe she had found something to hold on to.

I remembered the lessons I had repeated before every lake trip.

Stay calm.

Look for something that floats.

Hold on.

Mommy will come.

Those words had always sounded reassuring when I said them beside her.

Out there, they felt different.

I didn't know whether she could still hear me.

I didn't know whether she was frightened.

I didn't even know exactly where she was.

I kept moving.

Behind me, the sound of boat engines grew louder.

People had heard the shouting.

Some were coming away from the shore.

I knew help had been called because I had handed my phone to my nephew.

I hoped he had followed my instructions.

I hoped he had said everything clearly.

A child.

A jet ski.

No life jacket.

A drunk driver.

Those details mattered.

I didn't want anyone describing this as an ordinary accident involving a family member.

It wasn't ordinary.

I looked toward the place where I had last seen the jet ski.

I remembered how fast it had been moving.

I remembered the sudden impact with the wake.

Then I remembered the tiny shape separating from the back.

I wished I could take those few seconds back.

I wished I had never gone inside.

But I also knew something.

Trey had taken Cassie without my permission.

I hadn't been given a chance to stop him.

I couldn't change that now.

I could only keep searching.

The pink hair tie moved slightly as another wave reached it.

I looked at it again.

The little strawberry was still attached.

I didn't want to leave it behind.

But I couldn't let a small object become the reason I stopped looking.

I forced myself to turn away.

I called Cassie's name once more.

Then I continued searching the water.

Click here to continue reading: PART 6: I Had Spent Years Learning How to Stay Calm in the Water, but Nothing Had Prepared Me for Searching for My Own Child