Judge Harrison looked toward Liam again.
He had finished reviewing the papers.
The room was quiet.
I could hear the air conditioning running somewhere above us.
My grandson sat with his phone resting in his lap.
His shoulders were still stiff, but he no longer looked as frightened as he had when he first stood.
The judge spoke carefully.
He wanted to know whether Liam understood that his decision could affect his relationship with his mother.
I felt my stomach tighten.
It was the question I had been hoping nobody would ask.
Not because it was unfair.
Because I knew Liam would struggle with it.
He loved his mother.
Whatever had happened between them, she was still his mother.
He had already lost his father.
I didn't want him to feel that he had to lose another parent just to have a home where he felt comfortable.
Liam looked down.
He rubbed his thumb against the edge of his phone case.
Then he answered.
"I don't want to stop seeing my mom."
Sarah lifted her head.
I watched her face.
For a moment, her expression softened.
Liam continued.
"I just want to live with Grandma."
His voice was steady.
There was no anger in it.
No attempt to hurt anyone.
He was asking for something.
And he was trying to explain why.
Judge Harrison nodded.
He asked Liam whether he understood that his mother might be upset by the request.
Liam looked toward Sarah.
Then he looked back at the judge.
"I know."
Two words.
That was all.
I lowered my eyes.
I could feel tears gathering, but I refused to let them fall.
I wanted Liam to see that I was listening.
Not that I was falling apart.
Sarah shifted in her chair.
Her attorney whispered something to her.
She nodded without looking away from Liam.
I wondered whether she had expected him to say he didn't want to see her anymore.
He hadn't said that.
He hadn't rejected her.
He had simply asked to live somewhere else.
I wished everyone could understand that difference.
Judge Harrison asked whether Liam had spoken with me about his decision.
Liam answered honestly.
He explained that he had told me he wanted to live with me.
I listened closely.
I didn't want him to feel he needed to hide that conversation.
But I also didn't want anyone to misunderstand it as pressure.
The judge asked whether I had promised him anything.
Liam shook his head.
"No, sir."
He explained that he wanted to be there because he felt comfortable at my house.
I felt something loosen inside my chest.
That was what I had wanted him to say.
Not because it helped my position.
Because it was true.
I had never wanted to buy his affection.
I had never wanted to make him choose me.
I wanted him to have a place where he could come without worrying about disappointing somebody.
Judge Harrison looked toward Sarah.
He gave her an opportunity to respond.
She leaned forward.
Her attorney remained beside her.
She spoke about wanting her son.
I listened.
I could hear the emotion in her voice.
I didn't dismiss it.
But I kept thinking about Liam's words.
He wanted to live with me.
He still wanted his mother.
Both things could be true.
The judge listened until she finished.
Then he looked at Liam again.
I watched my grandson straighten his back.
He was still holding the phone.
I wondered whether he was thinking about the previous night.
I wondered whether hearing the recording again had brought back something he wished he could forget.
I couldn't ask him.
Not there.
Not while everyone was watching.
The judge thanked him for answering.
Liam nodded.
And I felt proud of him in a way that had nothing to do with the outcome.
He had told the court what he wanted.
He had done it without insulting his mother.
He had done it without asking anyone to hate her.
He had simply told the truth as he understood it.
Click here to continue reading: PART 14: Sarah Finally Looked at Me Across the Courtroom, and I Realized We Had Both Been Trying to Control a Situation We Didn’t Understand
The Question Nobody Wanted My Grandson to Answer, and the Silence That Followed Us Into the Courtroom
Part 13 of 24
