Judge Harrison placed the papers down.
He looked toward both attorneys.
Then he looked at Liam.
I sat completely still.
I had reached a point where I was afraid to move.
The judge spoke about the responsibility involved in deciding where a child should live.
He made it clear that the matter wasn't simply about what either adult wanted.
It was about Liam.
I looked at my grandson.
He was listening carefully.
His phone rested beside his leg.
His navy blazer was wrinkled now, especially around the sleeves.
He looked tired.
I wanted to tell him that he could stop worrying.
But I couldn't promise him anything yet.
Judge Harrison asked whether the information presented by both sides had been fully addressed.
The attorneys responded.
My attorney confirmed our position.
Sarah's attorney also spoke.
I listened without interrupting.
There was something I had begun to understand during the hearing.
I couldn't control what Sarah said.
I couldn't control what her attorney argued.
I couldn't control how the judge interpreted the documents.
The only thing I could control was how I treated Liam.
And I wanted him to remember that I had never asked him to choose me out of anger toward his mother.
I had asked for the chance to care for him.
That was all.
The judge turned toward Sarah.
He asked her to consider what Liam had said.
She looked down at the table.
Her fingers moved along the edge of the manila folder.
Then she looked toward her son.
I couldn't hear everything she said.
But I noticed that her voice was softer than before.
Liam didn't answer immediately.
He looked at her.
Then he looked toward the judge.
I felt a familiar ache in my chest.
That boy was trying to manage feelings that belonged to adults.
He shouldn't have had to.
Judge Harrison gave him time.
Nobody rushed him.
Finally, Liam spoke.
"I still love my mom."
Sarah's face changed.
I looked away for a moment.
Those words were important.
They reminded me that the custody dispute wasn't supposed to erase their relationship.
Liam wasn't asking to stop being her son.
He was asking for a different place to live.
I hoped the adults could remember that.
My attorney leaned slightly toward me.
He whispered that we should continue waiting.
I nodded.
I didn't need another explanation.
The judge was still considering everything.
I looked at the clock on the wall.
The hands seemed to move very slowly.
I thought about Michael.
I thought about how he would have felt seeing Liam in that room.
I couldn't imagine him wanting his son to carry this burden.
But I also knew that pretending nothing was wrong wouldn't make things better.
Sometimes the hardest thing was admitting that a family needed help.
And sometimes that help had to come from outside the family.
Judge Harrison returned his attention to the documents.
He turned another page.
Then he asked the attorneys whether they had anything else to add.
Both answered briefly.
The judge nodded.
I folded my hands together.
I was still frightened.
But I wasn't ashamed of asking for help anymore.
Click here to continue reading: PART 18: I Looked at the Empty Space Beside Liam and Remembered the Father He Had Lost Before Anyone Asked Him to Choose a Home
The Question Nobody Wanted My Grandson to Answer, and the Silence That Followed Us Into the Courtroom
Part 17 of 24
