PART 10 – The More I Thought About the Missing Papers, the More I Realized That My Biggest Responsibility Was Getting the Truth for Lily

The next few days passed slowly.

I continued waiting for the lawyer to contact me.

I didn't want to spend every hour thinking about the adoption records.

But I couldn't completely put them aside.

There was too much I didn't understand.

I kept remembering one particular detail.

The documents had not been included in the original records.

That was what troubled me most.

I could understand that paperwork sometimes became complicated.

I could understand that information might need additional review.

But these documents concerned the families who had previously considered adopting Lily.

That was not an unimportant detail.

It was connected directly to the history of the child I had adopted.

I wanted to know why those families had withdrawn.

I wanted to know whether the information had been available to them.

And I wanted to understand why I hadn't received it.

I had no intention of accusing anyone without knowing the facts.

But I also wasn't going to pretend the discovery didn't matter.

One morning, I sat down with my telephone beside me.

I considered calling the lawyer again.

I wanted to ask whether he had made progress.

Then I remembered that he had promised to review the records carefully.

I decided to give him a little more time.

I didn't want an incomplete explanation.

I wanted something I could understand and trust.

Meanwhile, Lily continued being Lily.

She had no reason to understand the questions occupying my mind.

She was a little girl who needed her mother.

And I wanted to make sure she continued receiving the same care and affection.

I had learned something during the years after losing my family.

Life could change without warning.

Sometimes the only thing you could control was how you treated the people beside you.

I wanted to be gentle with Lily.

I wanted her to feel wanted.

I wanted her to grow up knowing that she wasn't an inconvenience or an obligation.

She was loved.

That was something I could give her regardless of what the documents contained.

Still, the questions remained.

I thought about the adoption process.

I remembered how much paperwork there had been.

I remembered how carefully I had followed the instructions.

At the time, I had believed that completing the process meant I had received all the relevant information.

Now I wasn't so sure.

I wondered whether the missing documents had been overlooked.

I wondered whether there had been a mistake.

I wondered whether there was another explanation.

I had no evidence to support any particular answer.

So I waited.

Later that day, I found myself looking around the house.

It no longer felt like the lonely place I had once known.

There were signs of Lily everywhere.

And I realized how much I wanted to protect the life we had begun building together.

I wasn't going to allow uncertainty to turn me against the child I had chosen.

I wasn't going to let fear make decisions for me.

But I was going to insist on understanding her history.

That was my responsibility.

And I intended to take it seriously.

Click here to continue reading: PART 11: I Remembered the Day I First Asked to Adopt Lily, and I Began Wondering What Everyone Else Had Known Before I Did